My fucking love story.

* I have been in love with a guy who has seemed to be in love with me back. I am forever grateful to have experienced this. I thought I was incapable of it. 

Our relationship had issues, like any other. Yet I was the one who usually had to forgive him and try to make the relationship last. 

One of our main issues was a girl. who he seemed kind of obsessed with. I reacted to it because when spending time with me he was more busy talking to her on different sites, or arguing with her. like they were married. and when i confronted him about it i got the response that they were just friends and that i didn’t understand, that it was really important for him to keep this friendship. although they saw each other every day and we met once or twice a week. 

I guess I somewhat accepted that. But it’s difficult when your boyfriend seems to care more about talking to a girl whom he’s liked and hooked up with before and admits he finds attractive. Yet has referred to as a bitch so many times. 

He couldn’t understand that. So long story short he dumped me, said he regret it, then dumped me again. The same day. On facebook. Three days before my birthday. 

What I found difficult about this is that I didn’t only loose a boyfriend. I lost the person I’d definitely spent most time with this year. I lost the relations I’ve made with his friends. I lost the relations I’d made with him. I lost someone who meant a great deal to me. It’s hard to go from being in a mutual relationship with someone you can talk to about everything to nothing at all. with no pre-warning. So we met, just to talk. Figured we could be friends. I’m not really the type to follow norms and whatnot. i’m really straight forward. I really am a girl who can stay friends with her ex. I think that might be my weakness. I think guys believe that I don’t realize that we’re not together anymore. Ugh, I’m not an idiot. 

After a couple of days I realized I was the only one making an effort to keep in touch. It felt weird. When we met everything seemed okay and it seemed like he genuinely wanted us to be friends. But just like I didn’t want a person who didn’t seem interested in being in a relationship with me to be in a relationship with me, I didn’t want to feel like I was forcing someone to stay in touch with me when he seemed to take no interest in this what so ever. So I stopped contacting him. And we haven’t spoken since. 

There is one thing which makes the whole process a lot harder on me. Ever since we broke up, his communication with this girl has been very public. Posting photos of her drunk texting him, her posting photos of him, them taking pictures of each other, her “twitter raping” him with a tweet saying that she’s hot.

I don’t mean to sound like a wench, but why does all of this have to happen on social media sites less than two weeks after our break-up? Keeping in mind that their relationship was the main reason for us ending it at the first place.

I know we’re not together anymore. And I am pretty much over it. But just because we’re not together anymore doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when he doesn’t show any sign of respect for me or our past. It does hurt. A lot. It makes me doubt our whole relationship and feel like it was never really anything in the first place. 

//English isn’t my first language. That’s why I might sound like a brokenhearted 14 year old. 

By the way, I’m really doing quite well right now. This week has been great. I quite enjoy my life and the people in it. I just needed to get this out of my head. Off my chest. Not carry it around. One of the steps to really get past this. 

Have a great morning, afternoon, evening everyone. Kisses.